At peace
by dawnlies
Summary: Buffy explains herself after the events of 'Get it Done'


At Peace  
  
She couldn't sleep.  
  
"What did I do?" she thought, "Why am I always yelling on people I care? Plus, the more I like them, the more I'm harsh. see, Spike! Willow's right, sometimes hugs and kisses can be good too, but, but."  
  
She heard noises from the bathroom. "Who's in here?" she asked. She knew who was there at this hour of the night, and she could feel him but she wanted to ask anyway, maybe to see if he was all right after the evening's events.  
"It's me, love" Spike answered. Then she heard a groan.  
" Are you all right?" she wondered.  
"Yeah, it's just little scratches here and there, pet, nothing bad." He said.  
  
She stood up and headed to the bathroom door connected to her room. She knocked.  
"Can I come in and see them by myself? Maybe help tend them?"  
"Buffy, just scratches, that's all." He whispered back, she could hear his voice was shaking.  
"Please, Spike, I need to check on you"  
"Come in, then" He said softly.  
  
She entered the room and gave him a smile while she scanned his wounds. He was right, there were just scratches, nothing compared to what the First did to him. He was trying to tend a bruise on his back and it was hurting a little so she took the gauze he was holding and applies warm water on it.  
  
"Let me" She said in a breath. He tensed then relaxed as she worked on his back softly. When she finished, she threw the gauze in the trash and then returned her way back to him. She looked in his eyes and reached to take his hand.  
"Buffy." His voice cracked and he sighted.  
"Shh." She soothed while caressing his fingers with her thumb ". it's OK, let me see you." he entwined their fingers, she let him and continued ". let me take care of you." And she smiled.  
"That's OK with me, love" he smiled back "but I'm worried about you."  
"What? Why?" she asked.  
"Err. You seem to change your mind so often nowadays that I'm wondering if you'd joined me in gaga land!" he answered with a grin.  
She rolled her eyes and then they laughed.  
  
She led him to her room and sat him on the bed, facing her. And that's when she hugged him, pressing his head on her breasts, his arms went circling her waist and he hugged her back tightly. "Spike?" She whispered. "Yeah." "I'm sorry for what I said to you this evening and." "Don't!" he cut her. He reluctantly pushed her back and looked in her eyes "That needed to be said." "But not the way I did, Spike." "Buffy." "No! Let me finish this, please" she pleaded. He nodded. She sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck while he was soothing her making lazy circles on her back. It was hard for her and he knew it.  
  
"I didn't have to told you that in front of everyone, I should have told you this when we were alone, that would have been less selfish and mean, and I want you to know that I don't think I'm better than everybody." "I already know that, love, don't worry" he said pushing back a strand of hair behind her ear. That seemed to calm her. ".err, thanks. But sometimes I'm feeling so bad to have to say those things. You heard me, I sounded like a bitch back there, and I so don't want you to think of me that way. I do care about what you think of me, and I do care about you, Spike. I really, really do." That stunned him. There was a moment and then his arms tightened around her. "Buffy, I don't think you're a bitch or anything like that. I know you, love, and I know you did this because you were exhausted and scared, and that needed to be said, pet. I'd do anything you want me to if only you'd ask me and you know it, and I love everything about you. I love both good and bad moody Buffy. There's nothing to be sorry about, ducks. I love you." He said holding her tight against him, her head on his shoulder, his hand caressing her hair. "I know you do, honey, I know" she kissed his cheek and stood up. "I think it's time for sleepy Buffy now" She teased.  
  
He stood, hugged her and lingered a kiss on her forehead. "OK, sweet sleepy one. I see you tomorrow then" "Yeah." "So goodnight love" "'Night Spike"  
  
And he was gone. She resumed lying on her bed, she felt contented, at peace - the good peace, that is, not as in "rest in peace" she thought - and she was fast asleep a huge smile on her face. 


End file.
